Dear J,

I was lost when I came to this place. I was terrified and confused. I arrived after 7 hours flight, 3 hours of time difference, and 20 minutes of taxi rides. I remembered I had just lifted my 35 kilos suitcases. Walk up the stairs alone. Looking for a key that hides under a spider. Only to find that my room was filled with someone else books.

I was drained and sat on the couch for half an hour. I called my mom and said that I had landed safely here. And then you came. You reached out to shake my hand. Suddenly, I felt safe.

And then you told me a lot of things. Where my room was. How I could clean my clothes. And some housing kinds of stuff.

I knew you only did it just for the sake of decency. But that was the first time you touched my heart.

Some days pass, and then you try to make a joke on some evening. You told me that our neighbour had just broken up with his girlfriend, and he looked for a wife.

Another day, I found another girl complaining. Her complaint was why her travel lasted, and while still in jetlag, she had to get back to work. And you sang in your discordant voice: Wake me up when September ends.

I found that people opened up to you. That’s the second time that I feel something warmth about you.

At some noon, I saw you were mowing the backyard. I saw only your leg from the kitchen. And that time, I feel my heart skipped a beat.

I told myself to be calm and thought it was only my hormones.

Just the last two days, I discovered you have a hazel eye. And God, I thought of having a hazel eyes baby.

Yesterday was the last time I admit my heart skipped more beats. I had just finished my morning shower when I saw you and your brother with the same hazel eyes greet me. I was stunned with only Good Morning words.

In the afternoon, you gave a little more gesture. You only offered a small bite of kangaroo meat (in which I prayed it was halal). And that added a point in me.



So, what should I do about you, J?



Sincerely,

A

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Ahdiani is a student who like to spend her spare time wandering her mind and writing her feelings.